If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
