After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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