Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
