so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
