Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
