so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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