It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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