we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
