He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
two words...techno handjob
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
