I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
