Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
