But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
