I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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