Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
