I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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