he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
