i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
