giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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