No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
