He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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