So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
