Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
