I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Someone shit on the floor
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
