I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
