So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
