No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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