I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
