she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
