We won't sleep together?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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