best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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