There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
