she was so not down for the gang bang
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
