whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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