Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
