Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
