I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
