Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
