Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
