also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
