You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I love you. Go after that dick
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
