I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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