Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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