also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
