I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
