whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You are a genius and a whore.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
