i think i have herpe
just one?
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
