I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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