She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
