WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
high people should be assigned attendants
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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