is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
