I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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